-3 Things I Want To Be-

1.  Solver vs Talker

There are problems in the world.  (I'll pause a moment to allow time for gasps to subside and the shock to wear off).

Now let's continue.

People have problems.  Culture has problems.  Families have problems.  We all have problems.

You can talk, cry, complain, be outraged, and post rants on social media all day long.  Eventually, however, if the problem is ever going to be solved you have to move from talking to action.

I want to be a problem solver, not just someone that talks about problems.

2.  Surgeon vs Butcher

Ever seen a butcher cut meat?  It’s forceful.  It’s messy.  Results are “approximate” at best.

Surgery is different.  It's planned and precise.  It's executed with steadiness, skill, and care.

Leaders make decisions and orchestrate organizational changes that affect significant amounts of people.  That has to be approached with tact and reverence.

I want to be a surgical leader, not a bullish leader charging through the china shop of peoples’ lives.

3.  Multi-tool vs Hammer

A hammer views every problem as a nail.  It approaches every task and every person the same way: hit it as hard as you can as many times as you can and hopefully it'll get fixed.

Yet, in leadership there is no one-size-fits-all method.  Yes, some problems are best addressed with force.  For another, a gentle rub with the file is more effective.  Still others simply need to be tightened up with the screwdriver.

I want to be more like a swiss army knife and less like a mallet.  MacGyver over Thor.  Versatile over volatile.  Functionality over force.

What are 3 things you're striving for?

-The MVP in the Church-

Every church has an MVP.  This person is the most important piece of the puzzle.  They keep the wheels from falling off and the entire mission from going up in flames.  They have the hardest job in the organization!

Yet, their name isn't on the website and never gets any stage time or recognition.  It's unpaid, hard, demanding, and sometimes completely unfair.

So who is it?  The Pastor?  The Worship Leader? The volunteer that cleans the bathrooms after the service with their bare hands because the church budget got cut and "Cleaning Supplies" was the line item that was easiest to slash?

Nope.  The hardest job in the church is being the pastor's wife.

(CAVAET: I didn't write this so that you'll feel sorry for my wife or any other pastor's wife.  I wrote this to celebrate the heroes in ministry life!)


Here are 3 big reasons why it's hard to be the wife of a pastor:

1.  THEY LIVE THEIR LIFE UNDER A MICROSCOPE
Everything that they say or do is critiqued by everyone.  Every social media post, every financial decision, and every parenting choice will be analyzed.  When their kids misbehave or they say or do something out of frustration, it will be scrutinized.

What, you may ask, brought this encouraging and uplifting gift upon them?  Their husband's calling.  "Thanks honey."

So they do their best to deal with the Church version of the NSA and strive hard to ensure that their personal and (not so) private life adds credibility to the message that their husband is preaching as oppose to tearing it down.


2.  THEY CONSTANTLY DEAL WITH PUBLIC CRITICISM
Being a pastor and a leader comes with perks, but also plasters a bullseye on your back.  Criticism can be hard for some pastors, but it's almost always more difficult for their wives.

A pastors wife's DESIRED response to public criticism may be to punch someone in the throat, go out in the parking lot during the service and slash their tires, or throw holy water on them convinced that it will burn their skin because they are a demon disguised as a faithful member.  "The Power of Christ Compels You!"

Yet, what do they end up doing?  Smiling, taking the high road, and asking God to suppress their feelings of violence in order to keep the church off the front page of the newspaper.  After all, deep down they really don't have time to start a women's prison ministry right now.  Especially one from the inside.


3.  THEY ARE ON THE JOB 24/7
"It must be really nice to have that kind of free time since you only work on Sunday."  I love that comment.  Especially when that person calls with an emergency or a family crisis...on Tuesday night.  "Oh sorry, since I only work one day a week I'll have to wait to get back to you...in 5 more days."

But seriously, being a pastor is a 24/7 job.  Emergencies tend to happen in the middle of the night.  A family crisis almost NEVER happens between the hours of 9am-5pm.  Deaths and funerals seem to always pop up in the middle of your annual family vacation.

And who bears the brunt of that?  The pastor's wife.  "When is it going to be my turn?"  She shares her husband with the entire church.  For most pastors there isn't a day that he is not at the very least "on call."  So she is flexible, understanding, and oftentimes puts the needs of others above her own.


The Pastor's wife is BY FAR the most difficult position in the church.  The second hardest position isn't even close.  If you don't think that's true, just ask her (and don't say anything negative unless you want to get punched in the throat).