-4 Ways to Help a Hurting Friend-

When tragedy strikes, one of the most frequently asked questions that I get from people is, "What can I do?" or  "How can I help?"  Here are 4 quick things you can do to really serve those around you that are hurting.


1. SHOW UP
The best thing you can do for people that are hurting is to just be there.  Your presence can help heal.  Text, call, and email, but don't stop there.  Show up.

Be there WITH them and FOR them.


2. SHUT UP
During a hard time in life, your friends will have tons of questions.  Resist the desire to "answer" all of the questions or try to "fix" the problem.

Chances are, they aren't asking you for an answer.  They just want to share.  They want you to listen.  Sometimes the best thing is to sit there with them and say absolutely nothing.

So show up and shut up.


3. SHARE THE PAIN
Cry with them, laugh with them, pray with them, be broken with them, and cry some more with them.    Don't alienate yourself from their situation.  Get in the trenches with them.

Sharing the pain brings great comfort by helping your friends know they aren't doing this alone.


4. TAKE THE INITIATIVE
The worst thing you can do for a hurting friend is to say, "Call me if you need anything."  You've just placed all of the responsibility on their shoulders.  They don't need that.

Take the initiative and do something.  Cook them a meal, mow their grass, bring them bags of groceries, wash their dishes, clean their house, babysit their kids, treat them to a dinner out.

Don't wait around for them to ask you, and don't wait around for someone else to come up with a plan.  Just spring into action.


I've been the recipient of all of these things in my life during times of pain and struggle, and I hope they help you too.